As My Life Goes On and On and On
by Amethyst Grey
Summary: My life. Boy has it changed. With a blink of an eye my life changed... Who is this? What is this? A lesson learnt by all, on how things never go your way. How things never last. How you accept it. How people's life are changed dramatically.
1. InuYasha

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha

Enjoy! It's odd, but I am quite fond of it. This is like the thoughts of the characters. Or you can say something like a diary. 50 bucks on who can guess who this is reading the first sentence. And no it's not InuYasha….

* * *

For many years I have been alone. Traveling, distancing me away from humans and demons alike. I found my comforts in animals because they understood me. I am neither. I am half. Besides, who would want a worthless hanyou? Pathetic, half-breed, worthless, names that follow me everyday. 

I wanted to become more powerful. I wanted to be more powerful to protect those I care for. I couldn't protect my own mother when she was in danger.

I found a village that possessed the Shikon no Tama. So I, like other demons, tried to gain possession of it. What angered me, frustrated me, was that the miko did not kill me like the others. I did not want her pity. I did not!

* * *

I found to grow to some sort of feeling towards her. Her kindness to others, her gentleness, her earthliness all attracted me to her. But I knew I could never be with her, who would want a half demon like myself? She, being a miko the most pure being on this earth, and me, being a hanyou the foulest, dirtiest being on this earth.

* * *

We talked, the miko and me, alone. She talked about attracted to me. Me? She was willing to give the Shikon no Tama to me. She was willing to live with me, as a human. Can I do that? I can.

* * *

I was pinned to a tree by an arrow. The stung in my heart, was not from the arrow, but the betrayal of the one I loved. My thoughts began to close as I drifted in darkness. I didn't know how long I drifted, until I sensed her aura. My body sought revenge on her and fought my way out. How dare she trick me? She shot me. She tried to kill me. I thought we… When I awoke, I saw a young girl that looked like her. I convinced myself it's another way to deceive me, but it wasn't. Seems like that girl was already dead. My first love's name was Kikyou. Her name was Kagome. She made it quite clear.Did I tell you my name yet? No? My name is InuYasha.

* * *

Kagome? Strange, her clothing was different. Skippy looking. I don't know how I managed to convince myself she was Kikyou. Though her eyes, they're different. Her eyes are the lovely shade of the sky. Speaks of stars shine. Kikyou's are the dark shade of tree barks. Kagome's eyes they shine with gentleness, kindness, and innocence. Kikyou's eyes shine with calmness, earthiness, and a tinge of ice. Though I'll never tell Kagome, I am quite fond of her eyes. They're so different, in a good way.

She's so different, naïve, kind, sweet… and annoying. She brings me to life, keeps me on my toes. With Kikyou I couldn't be myself. I was quiet, I was kept down.

* * *

STUPID GIRL! She shattered the jewel! Now we have to find the jewel pieces together! I don't see why I have to go with her. She's only going to slow me down. I'll steal the jewel when it is complete. My heart will not soften.

* * *

DAMNIT! Why did she cry for me? I don't get it. My damn human blood showed tonight. I thought that would be the last of me. She cried… for me. She is such a strange girl. Why do I have this fuzzy feeling? Why am I now _shy to_ talk to her…?

* * *

Damn runt. Stealing MY ramen from me. Pathetic fox. Kagome just HAD to adopt a child. Not a normal child, but an annoying, bratty, clinging, fox child! I knew it wasn't a good idea. There he goes again, snuggling with Kagome in her sleeping bed. Why do I care? Is this jealousy…? Of what! No… just annoyance…. Yes… annoyance… What! Want his name now! His name is Shippou.

* * *

Damn Monk. Perverted monk. Wanting our company. Just the thought of him touching _my _Kagome earns a growl from me. My…? When did I get so possessive? Why would they want to accompany a half-breed like me? They're just stupid. I should disgust the reincarnation of a miko, a monk, and a full-blooded demon child. Why are they not disgusted? They confuse me. By the way, the monk's name is Miroku.

* * *

I harmed her, emotionally. I didn't her to go back to her own time. Didn't I tell you? She lives in the future. Every time she goes, I feel as if she isn't coming back, like she took a part of me. She came back, she came back even though I told her not to… I'm glad. Feelings arise within me. Embarrassment. Anger. Fear. Surprise. Trust. And could it possibly… love?

* * *

I curse all gods up there. ANOTHER member to our little 'party.' She's a demon exterminator. Before I forget, her name is Sango. She has a little companion; scratch that, transforming, cat demon, Kirara. At least this one isn't perverted. She is freaky. Her boomerang sure looks…. BIG!

* * *

Damn him. Damn Sesshomaru, showing up again. I thought brothers were suppose to be loving… I didn't' believe I actually admire that bastard when I was younger. How foolish of me. I remembered. I use to admire his complexion, his strength. I'm hanging around Kagome too much to think that _my _brother can be loving. Why do I have a feeling that Kagome is attracted to my ears…? I feel my heart quickening. Kikyou. She's near. The evil witch resurrected her. I'm glad, yet sad. Her soul isn't rested. I can't move on… I think I still love her…

* * *

Blood. All I saw was blood. Red. Hatred. That's all I saw. It felt like I was torn in half. My demon part wanted to kill everyone in sight. My human part wanted to stop, to protect. The demon half won and killed the demon without the slightest hesitation. Blood. All I wanted to do is roll myself in blood, to kill. All I saw was red. Then a single light came towards me. Was I dead? Kagome… she came towards me. Arms spread as if to hug me. I warn her to go back. I might hurt her or worse, kill her! Of all the things… she sat me. She said THAT word. Half of me annoyed, the other glad. I didn't hurt anyone, but how long will that last…? What if I injure her? I shudder at the very thought.

* * *

She... she kissed me... SHE kissed me! Kagome kissed me! Even if I was in my demon form, I felt my heart calm. She kissed me! I'm willing to stay with her. I'm willing to stay a hanyou for her, even if it's a bit longer. But will she be willing to stay with me?

* * *

Kagome… No… she saw Kikyou and me. Why does she seem so sad…? It's not like SHE'S jealous of anything. Kagome… Kikyou. Torn between worlds. Torn between people. WHY? I look at Kagome in her room sleeping peacefully. I'm so confused. I love Kikyou! Not Kagome! Right? Right? RIGHT! Not much help from Shippou or Miroku. I don't suppose I could have both of them? Silly thinking. I can have **neither **of them. I will not bring shame.

* * *

Now that I look back, I feel relieved. Mother was right. She told me, my life was going to be meaningful, happy, and full of love. I have a meaning. Kagome is my meaning to continue in life, without her I'd die and I don't know what to do after. She's the air I breathe.Kagome is my happiness. And it's Kagome I love. Kikyou has finally been put to rest after the battle with Naraku. Of course I knew we would win all along. I can never forget Kikyou. I love them both, but Kagome, she stole my heart and held it gently in her hands, even if she doesn't know it. Kikyou stole my heart, held it in her hands, but it was to loose. Our bond was shattered and will never mend, I guess I didn't think of that before.I should have let her go sooner,maybe then we didn't have to suffer so much. But that is in the past, and this is the future and I'm with Kagome.

Kagome loved me for who I am, not what I was, for that I will give her the most precious gift I can ever give, my love for all eternity. Kagome is my life. She changed it. I have friends, I have a meaning. I am able to hold my head up. Children from the village look up to me; families depend of me to protect them… Though this village might think fondly of me, what about the next village? That I do not care, for I have Kagome… Life sure has changed for me, from the lost hanyou to the loved hanyou. I wouldn't change my life for any other. The only thing I wouldn't do is change diapers of our children….

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Ok I lied, it was InuYasha, and no you don't get 50 dollars! Well I hope you liked it and tell me what you think? If no one reviews, I'm going to cry… well maybe not. But if no one likes it, I'm going to delete and not start on other people…. I'm so sad… Well hope you enjoyed! 

Mieko


	2. Kagome

**Disclaimer: **Noo! I do not own InuYasha. Don't rub it in TT;;;;;

Well, I can almost see that this fic isn't as popular! But I won't give up on it! Besides, as long as "I" like it. Well, on with the story!

Best Wishes+

* * *

As I sit beside my children, my shoulder on my husband, I think of how I got to where I was. It wasn't an easy road, I can say. We look up at the full moon, my children pointing to the many stars that filled the sky. I remember, a night just like this, almost 10 years ago, but it seemed to be so much longer...

"Momma!" I called out as I ran downstairs in my pajamas. I pulled my mother outside to watch the stars together. My grandfather and brother, Souta already outside. We pointed and watched on the shrine steps. My mother said to me, "Kagome, tomorrow you'll be 15. What do you wish for?"

I replied back, "I don't know Momma... Probably a new bicycle!" My mother laughed, "Yes Kagome... but what else do you wish for? For goals in the future? A love life?" Giving the usual sly mother smile. "Mom!" I had thought she was kidding... I was happy, content with my life...minus the stress of school. But my life was okay.

And on that faithful day after my 15th birthday, that very morning when I found Souta calling for Buyou. I had no idea that beyond those doors and down the ancient well was a portal. A portal 500 years before. But to me, also a portal to a new, exciting life.

I sank down the well, fearful of what will happen. When I climbed out, looked around... I was filled with shock. Who wouldn't? I was those kind of girls who would burst with adventure...

But then... my fears were gone when I saw a boy... with dog ears. His calm face made me feel at peace. I said to myself, inwardly I knew he wasn't suppose to be there. And when I released him, his face didn't make me feel at peace anymore. The scowl that was always on his face, the frown, the crease above the eyebrows... But his eyes...Yes, his eyes, they held so much emotion, it made me feel right. If this doesn't make sense, don't worry. Because it didn't make sense to me before. I pushed it all away. Concentrated on the tasks.

But I knew... once Kikyou had been released. My soul torn. I felt blank, emptied. And then, not just my soul was it emptied. But my heart, as I heard InuYasha call for Kikyou in that voice of longing, of love... I wasn't willing to go back. I couldn't.

And I thought to myself. No! I will not go down without a fight. It's **_my _**soul!

Sometimes, I feared him. Yes, I had feared InuYasha. I had feared his dark soul. I had feared his claws. Yes, I had feared his demon side. But most of all, I had feared his rejection.

I kept a smile, hoping he would like me. Even as a friend. It just seemed to me, the only thing I can do. Of course... yes.. I felt anger... okay, I was down right pissed! Happy? Who wouldn't? What guy sits in a battle fied with dead bodies scattered everywhere and eat peacefully?

As the days went by... I grew to like him... only a little. Okay, so I denied it! I mean, who would have thought I would lo-- LIKE a guy who's ego was bigger than his head can hold!

It was rare, but it was there. Where his eyes would flash with sadness, and longing. But it was those times where he actually opened up. Then his moltened gold eyes would also flash happiness. Sometimes I can see it as he wrestled with Shippou. I knew he went easy on Shippou. Just as a father in those wrestling matches would train the younger. A smile tugged at my lips in remembrance. And soon, the sadness and longing had disappeared. I no longer caught it.

I have to admit. I don't have a pure heart. My hatred towards Naraku. My jealously towards Kikyou. Kikyou. Yes... I sorta... pity her. I feel as if... maybe I shouldn't be here. It should be HER who is enjoying the stars with InuYasha, HER who is feeding our children, HER who is changing the diapers. But then... I look into InuYasha's eyes and I smile.

No.

It was _I, _who had broken the spell that SHE placed onto InuYasha. It was _I, _who cracked InuYasha's shell. It was _I, _who gave my heart and soul to InuYasha, that she couldn't do fully. And yes... it is still _I, _who is still changing the diapers.

And as I look into the diamond like stars that continued on and on through the dark curtain above our heads. I close my eyes, listening to the breathing of our children, I wish.

_I wish for for Kikyou's soul to have eternal peace. _

_I wish for the lives that were ruined, will mend._

_I wish for my children's happiness... _

I wish for many things. I wish for things I could never have had... if not for that faithful day in the well. Maybe I owe thanks to the demon that dragged me into this mess after all.

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Wishes Granted+

Thank you, for reading! Hope you like it and review! I have other Inuyasha fics and I hope you will like them as well.

- Dearest Authoress -grin-


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